I am addicted to sleep. So I guess you could say I am also addicted to sleeping pills. My reasoning: it’s just that there is nothing worse than lying in bed knowing you have to get up in a few hours, and finding that sleep eludes you. Enter: my little pills. So, the other night I found myself once more lying in bed and watching the clock. A couple hours passed and, finding myself no nearer to sleep, I decided to take my last sleeping pill, the one I had been saving for an emergency such as this. In the darkness I stepped across my room (yes, it does take just one step to get from one side of my room to the other), opened my medicine cabinet, pulled out the package and popped out the last tablet. And that is when it happened. I dropped it. In the darkness it appeared to have fallen into the garbage, and I am deeply shamed to say my first thought was “I have to find it!” Yes, I was fully prepared to dig through the garbage in order to find and eat it. This is when I realized that I may have a problem. After turning on the light I realized that it had actually just fallen beside the garbage and therefore no dumpster diving was required. I was still shaken from my earlier revelation though, and decided to set a rule rough guidelines allowing myself to only eat my little helpers on nights where I actually have to get up the next morning and interact with other human beings, and therefore need to be in some semblance of a good mood for the safety of everyone involved. On other nights however, I have come up with a new tactic for dealing with my insomnia: Movies/TV. I will literally sit and stare at the screen for hours until my eyes begin to glaze over and I collapse into bed, exhausted. Maybe not quite as effective, but it does the trick.
While I am making confessions, the last two days have not been so good in terms of upholding the second of my resolutions. In my defence though, this is partly due to the fact that I was so busy upholding the first part of said resolutions that I simply lost track of time (Side note: it is far more comfy writing in pj’s than in Normal Clothes. Besides restricting my breathing, they also seem to restrict my flow of thoughts). In addition, it has been soo cold in my room the last two days, that I have been more concerned with vast amounts of layering in order to conserve body heat than with looking like a Presentable Person. Tomorrow I will be sure to get back on track since I have class and very much care what my classmates think of me. Very much.
